friday link love

I had a discussion with friends this past week on the virtues of a 3 day weekend Friday - Sunday, or Saturday - Monday.  I'm team Saturday - Monday, because I truly think that the best part of a three day weekend like that is the fact that it's followed by a four day week.  I'm eager for anything that makes time pass more quickly, knowing that each day brings us closer to meeting Claire.  I know I should be savoring these last few days of time alone with Darrell, but I think we're both equally impatient.  If she doesn't decide on this weekend to make her appearance, we'll go see a movie, and there's a community picnic in the park by our house on Sunday afternoon.  

Have a wonderful weekend, and if you have any movie recommendations please leave them in the comments!  We're thinking either "The Neighbors" or "Chef."  

I'm not an avid watcher of TED talks, but this one is short and makes some wonderful points, from a man who was on a plane that crashed and lived to tell the tale.  

This is hilarious and beyond true: 21 things you say in work emails and what they actually mean.  

A dog meets a fish, and things go horribly awry.  Absolutely worth your 20 seconds.  

Shift dress + clogs + hat = a perfect weekend outfit, and what I intend to make my summer uniform.  

34 things you've probably thought during a hot yoga class.  Yes, rent the $1 towel.  

I'm thinking this strawberry icebox pie is a must-make for this weekend.

This article seems like a genius guide for how to help out a new mom.  Of course, I have no experience yet, but I'll definitely be saving these ideas for when my next friend has her first baby!  

Am I cool enough for perforated white Vans?  Probably not, but they look oh-so-comfy and awesome.

This made me laugh out loud.  

reading list

I've always been an avid reader, but once I got pregnant I had issues with very vivid dreams that basically put me off reading fiction for a while.  For most of the past 9 months, I've read nothing but baby books - helpful for calming my nerves, but not exactly intellectually stimulating.  I kind of felt like my brain was turning to mush there for a while (although I think all pregnant women feel that way).  The last few weeks I've been spending a lot of time at home and sleeping like a rock, so I've gone back to speeding through novels, something I'm hoping to keep up as entertainment during late night feedings with the baby. 

I always love to hear what other people are reading (and their honest opinions), so I decided to start a "reading list" series, featuring what I've read the past few weeks and how they rated.  Full disclosure: I read pretty quickly, but 4 books in two weeks is a lot for me - these were all fairly short.  I can't promise there will be this many each week!  

The Book Thief, 5/10 - 

Believe it or not, I started this book before I ever got pregnant.  I was in the beginning of it when I found out, but since it's about the Holocaust & WWII, it was promptly put on hold once I started having the bad dreams.  I finished it this past week, and it was okay.  Obviously it's sad, but the book has a really neat point of view (it's narrated by "death," a smart pick for a narrator in a story set during wartime) and you certainly root for the young heroine.   However, it wasn't one of the best books I've ever read, and I'm not compelled to see the film after reading it.  

The Fault in Our Stars, 9/10 - 

I started this one per the recommendation of another blog, and it was truly fantastic.  Of course, it's a "cancer book," so perhaps not the smartest thing for someone 9 months pregnant to read?  Seriously, Darrell was laughing at my ugly crying so hard that I had to leave the room - which was ineffective, since we basically live in a studio apartment.  The whole book is voiced perfectly.  It absolutely sounds like the dialogue of teenagers, and even though the subject is heavy, it's still humorous.  I read this in one night, if that tells you anything.  I absolutely couldn't put it down.  I'm unsure if I'll be able to handle the movie....might be best saved for at home viewing so that I can ugly cry in peace.  

One More Thing, 7/10 - 

I had to follow up the sob-fest with something funny, so I picked up this collection of short stories by "Office" writer & star BJ Novak.  This book surprised me - it was incredibly easy to read, but the stories were very poignant in their humor.  He's a very thoughtful writer, and so much of the book was incredibly relatable.  It's almost Seinfeld-esque in a way!  My favorite story is probably "the man who invented the calendar."  

Allegiant 2/10 - 

Wow, I've really maxed out on the teen reads lately, huh?  Full disclosure, this was terrible.  I loved Divergent & Insurgent (the two first books in this series) but if I'd known they would end with this book, I likely would've skipped the whole thing altogether.  It felt as though the author had no idea where she wanted to take the story, the ending was incredibly anticlimactic, and worst of all it was SO boring.  Too gummed up with details that you didn't care to read - I found myself lightly skimming pages toward the end.  This one I would definitely avoid.  Honestly, I'm kind of annoyed that I paid for it!  

I'm thinking Mr. Penumbra's 24 Hour Bookstore or The Goldfinch may be my next picks, but I'll gladly take recommendations!  I love a series, so let me know if there's a great one I haven't heard of yet!  What have you been reading lately?  

snapshots & selfies

left: target dress, jcrew jacket & hat, ebay tote, old navy sandals

right: forever 21 hat, tunic, & sandals, gap maternity leggings, ebay tote

left: old navy dress, jacket, & shoes, old scarf, ebay tote

right: isabella oliver dress, new balance tennis shoes 

left: target dress, gap sneakers

right: target dress & sandals

If you can't tell, there's a serious theme of comfortable shoes happening in these photos.  In the past two weeks, it's basically become painful to...well, stand.  I'm counting my blessings though - I've had a back pain free pregnancy, and I think that would be much worse!  

In sum, my pregnancy dressing guidelines at this point: if it's not striped, it's stretch jersey.  If it's not sandals, it's sneakers.  If you don't feel like fixing your hair, wear a hat.  

Keeping it simple!  

forever 21 round-up

What do you say we kick this week off with my personal favorite find, the Rag & Bone sweater of Pinterest dreams that Forever 21 chose to recreate for only $30?  

Told ya.  That is good stuff right there, and they continued to kill it with the basics the past two weeks.  Read on for great white blouses, a perfect red shift dress, and some really cute wedges.  

awkward & awesome tuesday

wearing: dress - c/o sonnet james, sandals - tory burch

Awkward:

Can I just get a pass and say EVERYTHING here?  Seriously, I have to pee every 20 minutes, I’m going stir crazy working at home even though leaving the house for a few hours exhausts me, and Claire has decided her foot needs to press against the same spot on my bump 24/7 which leaves me with the constant feeling that someone is pressing their thumb into a bruise on the top of my belly.  So yeah……..everything is awkward.

Awesome:

Darrell had completely forgotten that this past weekend was a holiday weekend, and when he remembered it was like PURE JOY on his face.  Also, it was completely wonderful to have him home for a whole three days.

Our diaper party - not only are we stocked up on a ridiculous number of diapers (where will be put them all!?) it was so wonderful to get to spend the day with our nearest and dearest all in one place, likely for the last time before our world is turned upside down.  I can’t wait for the next party, when we can bring the baby with us and introduce her to her “family.”  She already has more aunts & uncles than you can count on your fingers & toes together.

Chocolate covered strawberries.  I’ve craved them ever since Darrell bought me a huge (but $25) box of them from a confectionary for Valentine’s Day.  I have no idea why it took me so long to make some for myself!

Getting away with unlimited pedicures because how is Darrell going to tell me no?!  I may not be able to see my feet, but I know they look good in flat sandals, which are currently the only thing I can really stand to wear.  

Last but not least, just inching closer to her arrival.  I know it could still be 2 or 3 weeks away, but the time is shrinking away!  

friday link love

You know what would make this weekend the best Memorial Day weekend of all time?  If Miss Claire decided to make her appearance.  Darrell's "beer & diaper" shower is on Saturday and we are really excited to celebrate her impending arrival with all our sweet friends, but that is the last thing on our calendar until she's born.  Darrell has been really hoping that she'll stay put until at least Sunday so he can have one last hurrah, and I'm all about indulging him, but there's not much I can do about it - I have a feeling that Murphy's law dictates she'll decide I go into labor Saturday night.  Or you know, she could stay put until June.  

A few things that kept me entertained this week while I did an excessive amount of sitting around....

Things Parisians do that amaze New Yorkers, and vice versa.  (Slightly more risque; how to party like a French person.)  

What do you think about paternity leave?  Truthfully, I'm all for it.  You go Chris Hayes.  

Learning about style from being a mom.  You can keep it together, who knew?  

I really want to get my hands on this adorable and cheerful straw tote.  

We really need a new doormat, and this one is so welcoming.  

These crepes sound like the perfect thing for Sunday morning.  

Me, lately.  Because sitting around waiting for a baby involves a lot of television catch-up.  

on diet coke & slowing down

If you know any of the women in my family, you know that we all have at some point or another had a real issue with Diet Coke.  It’s honestly all I remember my mother ever drinking growing up, same with my Aunt, Grandmother, sister, and me.  

We’re also picky about its service.  My aunt Meg likes it with lemon, my mother with lime.  My mom prefers it on ice.  I personally prefer no citrus, straight from the can.  The only thing preferable to that is a fountain Diet Coke from McDonalds, and I’m just not sure how they make it so good.  I read somewhere it has something to do with how much they sell, so it’s always fresh.  (Can soda be fresh/not fresh?)  

Anywho, I got told to put the kibosh on all caffeine about three weeks ago at an OB appointment, and although I haven’t been like, OVERLOADING on the Diet Coke since being pregnant, it’s inarguably been one thing I have REALLY craved.  One every two days will pretty much make me happy, but since I’m not supposed to have any caffeine, and I obviously can’t stop eating chocolate altogether (which has caffeine) it’s been rough.  One day at work, I found one of those teeny cocktail plastic cups and poured half a can in and I freaking savored it. Caffeine free diet coke is not nearly as good and only makes me feel about halfway better, but at least I can drink the whole can and only have to feel bad about the aspartame I’m feeding the baby.  Being perfect when you’re pregnant sure is hard, right?  I’m fairly sure I’m not even close.  

Not for lack of trying - I’ve been stubbornly in the camp of “I’m going to do this better” for the entirety of my pregnancy.  I know, it’s ridiculous - why should I try to be better at pregnancy than anyone else?  It isn’t a contest!  Who would I even be competing with?  But I’m a type A/oldest child/Virgo and if anyone could make a contest out of pregnancy, it would be me.  Also, I think motherhood often becomes a contest between women and I’ll admit - I got caught up in it.  I even completed an entire yoga teacher training DURING my pregnancy, and even though I was exhausted for the last few weekends, I was staunchly unwilling to admit it. 

The past few weeks, I've been stressing out about my birth plan, going back and forth between a few different options, and feeling guilty about the ups and downs of each one.  Every time I would read a woman’s birth story, I would get what I wanted out of birth pushed out of my mind and end up changing something….probably because of the inevitable comparison.  The inevitable “who is more of a mother” of it all.  

Then there was a little panic attack upon arrival at my office on Tuesday a couple weeks ago.  I had planned on it being my second to last week, but when I got out of the car after a 2 hour drive and headed inside with my bags I felt dizzy and disoriented within seconds.  Nothing crazy - it was probably just from sitting still in the car for almost 2 hours, but it was proof that maybe it was time to discontinue the out of town work trips. Of course, that required me to admit a little weakness.  I’m working from home for the rest of my pregnancy, but I am a lot hesitant about losing my actual presence in the office. I'm stir crazy after just a week of being at home so much - coming to terms with the difficulties of the 3rd trimester hasn’t been easy for me.  I’ve been stubborn about admitting this is hard, and I’m not even having a difficult pregnancy…I’m just pregnant.  

Which brings me back to that random ditty about the Diet Coke - there are things about pregnancy that you don’t think will be a big deal…and then there are things you never considered that absolutely are.  Like alcohol for example - I assumed I would realllllly miss it.  But I don’t, not really ever.  I miss Diet Coke, and not being able to go to the grocery store alone for fear I won’t be able to carry the bags in myself, hot yoga classes, not having to monitor how much tuna I eat in a week, and raw fish.  I don't feel like I have any right to complain about feeling huge, but I do miss my waist.  I miss walks longer than 30 minutes that aren’t cut short because I have to find someplace to pee.  I miss laying on my stomach a lot.  Some of those things I haven’t been able to do for a while, and you’d think that it would get easier over time to go without them, but mostly at this point I’m just reaching the end of my rope.  Luckily, at the end of the rope is the baby I'm anxious to meet, so getting to the end is exactly what I need to be doing.  

Whenever she arrives, here are the items from my “most missed list” that I expect delivered to the hospital room at the earliest convenience post-labor.  

Darrell, your orders: 

a nova lox bagel from Einstein’s with smoked salmon shmear
and a fountain diet coke.  
Extra points if you bring peonies.  

thinking about....

Some new perfume...

A pretty reminder for our apartment walls.

A simple but pretty outfit for now & post baby.  (And those clogs!)

Ricotta toast & berries for breakfast.

This eclectic tunic, as camouflage once Claire has arrived.

Whether or not I'm cool enough to pull off Birkenstocks.

Tree lined streets.

Wise words.

if you're ever feeling.....

If you're ever feeling like maybe your May flowers aren't living up to their rhymed hype...

then you can just come on over to hang out in our backyard for a while.  

Also, ever since living here Darrell & I have a funny habit of getting really antsy to move/hunt for apartments or houses in the winter, and each year when spring rolls around we change our tune to "we're never leaving.  How did we get so lucky as to live here?"  And I really don't know, because I sure don't have a single thing to do with those beautiful roses other than a little pruning from my habit of clipping some and placing a vase full in every room of the house.  

awkward & awesome tuesday

Awkward:

My dogs were barking at the door, so I figured maybe the postman had come and left a package or something.  I opened our door to peek out once I heard the entryway door close in JUST a long tunic (longer than my underwear, thank god) and saw my landlady standing in the lobby!  Cue my awkward "oh hi!" And promptly shutting the door in her face.  

Breastfeeding classes.  I don't feel the need to elaborate on this.  

8:30 bedtime on a Saturday night.  And I don't even feel a little bit guilty-in fact, I take sleep when and where I can get it at this point.  

Missing hot yoga so much that I sometimes just look at the class schedule at my old studio and fantasize about when I’ll be able to go again.  

Waiting for labor when you have no idea what it’s like to go into labor.  It’s like a state of constant vigilance and extreme boredom all at once.  

Awesome:

While making a return at the mall, a sweet lady told me I looked pretty.  Always nice to hear when going into month 9 on a day you didn't wear any makeup.  I'll remember her unprovoked kind remark the next time I see another preg girl out and about.

Getting the "any day now!" from my doctor at my last appointment.  They don't change your due date, but I've been informed that I'm actually dating around 38 weeks as of today.  I think there's good and bad to this, because now I'm doing a lot of sitting around and waiting, but it was reassuring to hear that she probably won't be late.

Chinese food that shows up ten minutes after you order it.  Even though I STILL managed to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms between the time we made the order and its arrival. 

People are just really excited for you at this point - there's no hiding the bump anymore, and strangers kind of feel like it's public property.  In a good way, mostly!  I get a lot of "congratulations!" and "so cute!" from everyone from grocery checkers to waitresses, and that's a lot of cheerful every time I leave the house.  Baby bumps are apparently an equal opportunity happy-maker.

Spending the majority of my weekend sitting outside doing absolutely nothing.  Vitamin D is kind of my everything right now, as are Pinterest & Tumblr.  Strangely, I’m totally over pinning baby clothes, probably because I have too many for Claire already.  I’m really really really excited to start getting back to my pre-baby size, so I’ve mostly been pinning outfit ideas for post-baby.

And since it wouldn't be awkward & awesome without whatever food I'm currently obsessed with: popsicles.  It's getting difficult to keep them in the house, I want a popsicle pretty much every hour on the hour.  

maternity style 21

striped tee - asos, shorts - a pea in the pod, clogs - swedish hasbeens, tote - ebay, straw hat - target (similar), sunglasses - ray ban

In a weird way, these last few weeks have me feeling more confident and happy than I have almost the entire time I've been pregnant.  I feel a little sense of accomplishment knowing I have 

a) fully *cooked* this little babe, and she is healthy and ready to be born anytime.  

b) somehow managed not to spiral into a full-time wardrobe of sweatpants.  In fact, I think I'd be willing to say that it's been essential to my self-esteem to get dressed, put makeup on, and fix my hair every day.  

I am admittedly sticking to much simpler silhouettes at this point, but it's been refreshing to find out that I can still enjoy clothes and getting dressed even at the 9 month mark.  

friday link love

We have no real plans for this weekend other than enjoying the gorgeous weather - spring plans to make a return to St. Louis, so we may just live at the park.  Also on the agenda - garage sales!  Come on, tell me you don't love a good garage sale?  It's the best season for them, and I will probably buy way more baby clothes than Claire will ever wear - and if I'm lucky, I'll find a few pretty vases as well, since we have an overabundance of roses in the yard at the moment.  Darrell is always on the lookout for children's vinyl records!  I love to wake up early, hit up all the sales we noted on Craigslist, and then reward our bargain hunting efforts with brunch.  

Seriously, there might be too many links here, but if you need some Friday afternoon entertainment I'm your girl!  My favorites from this week: 

A list of delicious two-ingredient sandwiches.  

This is hilarious, and so true.  

On the noble pursuit of simply doing good every day.  

Watermelon popsicles!  

Mastering the fine art of small talk - I am terrible at this, but these tips seem pretty good!  

I try not to get too political on this blog, but it is undeniable that America is failing mothers.  We also keep terrible company in regards to human rights.  

An extremely thought provoking blog post on educating children about religion.  As Darrell & I have different beliefs, it's something we will be considering up until the very day Claire begins to ask questions, I'm sure.  

30 incorrectly used words that make any smart person sound like a dummy.  Affect/effect really gets to me!  

A nurse reveals the top 5 regrets of her dying patients.  

Are you scared of flying?  Here are 10 pretty great tips for calming your nerves before takeoff (or really during any stressful situation!)  

Really loving Avarcas sandals right now.  Fuschia isn't an impractical color choice, right?  

After our warm weather disappeared this week (highs only in the 50s on Wednesday!) I was wishing I lived in one of these places.  

Some adorable baby rhino gifs, because why not?  

Last but not least, Sonnet James is taking pre-orders again for the dresses that sold out quickest from their Spring/Summer collection.  I was excited to get a second chance at nabbing the Constance, but I can't say enough wonderful things about all the dresses.  

snapshots & selfies

left: dress & wedges - target  right: dress - isabella oliver, clogs - old navy

left: jacket - forever21, old, dress - target, sandals - sam edelman

right: jacket - j crew factory, dress - old navy, sandals - forever 21, old

dress - sonnet james, scarf & hat - forever 21, old, espadrilles - soludos, old

So at this point, the question is: could I wear more stripes?  My iPhone says I may want to take it down a notch.  

spend your pennies: forever 21

It was a good week for Forever21!  So much cute stuff for summer, which is perfect since apparently summer decided to arrive early this weekend!  Not complaining about the heat - seriously, reprimand me in the first post that happens, because this winter I PRAYED for some warmth - but St. Louis springs are just never long enough, especially considering how pretty they are.  

Here are my favorites from the last two weeks, and happy shopping!  

What a great dress for a summer wedding, am I right?  Also, I hope they put those shoes up for sale soon.  $27, here.  

awkward and awesome tuesday

wearing: pink blush maternity dress c/o

Awkward: 

I went to buy some air plants Saturday morning, and the man at the garden store began to educate me on their care.  I had had them before, so I stopped him and told him I just needed new ones because I had accidentally forgotten about them.  I'm assuming he didn't see the bump behind the tall checkout counter, because he asked me if I had kids and then just said "think about it."  Um, okay......and for the record, I do plan to pay more attention to Claire's well-being than that of a plant.  

The "Wolf of Wall Street" - holy ridiculous.  I'm not sure I picked up my jaw once through the entire movie.  

Any temperature above 65, currently.  I am like a living sauna - no covers when I sleep, and I can hardly enjoy the spring weather we're having because I must have the house shut up and A/C blasting at all times.  Also kind of sad is that I can't cuddle with Darrell when we sleep because I am just.  too.  freaking.  hot.  

Almost dying on an approximately 1 mile walk - and I mean I felt like I was not gonna make it back to the house and Darrell might have to go get the car to pick me up.  It was akin to the feeling of finishing a half marathon, minus the accomplished superwoman factor.  Also, I was sadly reminded that I once ran a half marathon, and now I can barely walk a mile.  

Awesome: 

This dress!  So comfy, I know I'll be getting a ton of wear out of it for the rest of this pregnancy and beyond.  Pink Blush maternity's clothes have a lifesaver since month 3 - they're the only brand that makes their tops truly long enough to wear with leggings.  This was the first time I had tried out one of their dresses, and while it looks polished it feels like pajamas, which is basically my ideal in any maternity wear.  

Painted my nails in the car successfully on our way home for Mother's Day brunch, despite Darrell's insistence that I was going to get peach polish all over the entire car.  Take that, ya doubter.  

Chocolate malts from Potbelly sandwich shop.  It'll be a miracle if I don't go all the way to Clayton to get another one this week.  

Even though people have started asking about when the baby will be arriving, no one is yet to say "any day now, huh!?"  Which makes me ridiculously happy.  Thanks for not telling me I look 40 weeks pregnant yet, everyone.  Much appreciated.  

the weekender

So, Friday was a rough day last week.  The previous night I was woken up by dripping at 3 am.  Our ceiling was leaking (again) because of our upstairs neighbor’s broken A/C.  So there was the 3 am moving of the bookshelf that had a home against that wall, and laying a towel down, and then we got to try to sleep through the drips for the rest of the night which is….impossible.  So Friday, even though it’s FRIDAY, and we're all supposed to be cheerful and happy, I was just not.  I was tired.  And whiny.  I was mad about the bookshelf hanging out in the middle of my living room and that I hadn’t slept.  But I figured, I could either let the whole day be ruined - no fun - or I could try to turn it around.  So, I wrote down everything that made me smile for the next few hours that morning, and here's what I came up with: 

A robin with a worm landed on our porch around 10 am, looking like the king of the castle.  I think he just wanted to show off to the dogs.

A few new dresses came in the mail.  Superficial I know, but those things make me happy.  And thank you Pink Blush, for cheering me up!

There was just one bagel left from our last run to Panera, it was the best kind of bagel (cinnamon crunch), and it was all mine.

This video of a fox with his head stuck in a can.  

And then of course our evening improved from there with a trip to Food Truck Friday, where there were cupcakes, sooooooo many babies and puppies, and the most perfect spring evening weather there ever was.  

Despite my best efforts, the day was determined to end as it began, and we BARELY made it home because on the way back because the bump suddenly just got REALLLLLLLLY heavy and tried to keep me from walking.  In fact, we had to stop and take a break on a stoop about 3 blocks from our house, and I felt fairly pathetic.  So even though there were cupcakes and new dresses, I conceded defeat and resolved to do better Saturday & Sunday, and I think we did!  

Sometimes, when you're 9 months pregnant, it's better to just give in to doing a whole lot of sitting around.  It's always better if you can do it outside in your garden full of blooming roses though, and then throw in a pedicure and have your husband clean the house as well (Darrell's first mother's day gift to me, and it was exactly what I wanted.)   

After a wholly relaxing Saturday, a gorgeous Mother's Day was had - the backyard roses made their way inside, and we had brunch & then lunch with our beautiful mamas, grandmas, and aunts. Also, there was Dairy Queen ice cream cake at some point, and there's really nothing better than that.  

I hope you all had a beautiful weekend as well!  I wouldn't mind doing it all over again....perhaps even Friday.  

friday link love

This photo is basically my weekend in a nutshell.  I'm going to make a real effort to relax, enjoy the weather, and settle into that pattern for the last 5 weeks of this pregnancy.  There will be pedicures, cupcakes, and brunch.  How much better could it get? 

I also have to congratulate my beautiful & accomplished friend (practically my sister) Bridget on her graduation from nursing school this weekend.  She has worked her tail off for years to accomplish this goal, and me & Darrell are fairly devastated that my being almost 9 months pregnant is keeping us from making the journey up to watch her walk.  We will be thinking of you all day tomorrow, B!  

And this week's favorite links: 

I made boxed brownies this week, which reminded me why I usually put in the effort to make these instead.  

Such a pretty, easy hairstyle!

The best sentences of all time.  

Made me laugh.  

These state facts are so interesting!  

Inside the fridges of 11 New York chefs.  

Hilarious and completely true graphs.  Number 4 is annoyingly true.  

This is a bit long, but absolutely worth watching.  A very smart argument.  

for all the mothers

I never really remembered each Mother’s Day for much other than where we went to family brunch, until last year.  Last year’s holiday is as fresh in my mind as it was the Monday after.  

Last year was the first mother’s day I really wanted to be a mother.  The holiday itself happened to be in a day when the timing would be just right for me to take an accurate pregnancy test, and I had counted down until that time thinking that it would be fate - surely I’d find out I was to be a mother on Mother’s Day.  It would be too perfect.  

Except it wasn’t.  I woke up that morning and took it first thing, and the test came up negative.  I was quietly devastated, as you are every time you see the words “not pregnant” when you just want that little “not” to go to hell.  Of course, there was no reason for me to be upset - we hadn’t been trying for all that long. Maybe two months?  Other couples try for years, I knew that.  But I still remember feeling a sulky all day, not being in the club of women who were being celebrated.  In my head, I wanted to just say “but I am a mother this year!  Or at least, I’m trying to be!”  But you can’t say that out loud, and like so many women before me have said, being a parent kind of makes you part of a club that no one else without children can belong to.  

Which, personally, I think is unfair.  Last year on Mother’s Day I didn’t know what it felt like to have a baby hiccup inside my womb, I didn’t know the joy of the word “pregnant” (minus the ‘not’) on a drugstore stick, and I hadn’t decorated a nursery with a name I chose for my daughter.  I still don’t know what it feels like to nurse a child, to be woken by her cry, to watch my husband carry her around like a football while he cooks dinner.  

But, in spite of all that, looking back I realize that I was no less a mother.  I was Claire’s mother from the moment I decided I wanted her, the day I started praying for her.  I am no less a mother this year for her arrival date having not come to pass.  Neither is any woman who wants to be a mother, even if her future children are still written into her “someday plans.”  

I’m not suggesting you insist on being celebrated with your mothers, aunts, and grandmothers at brunch this Sunday if you aren’t with or have had a child.  I would have felt ridiculous doing that, and I’m sure you would too. I am suggesting this:  if on Sunday someone says to you “Happy Mother’s Day,” maybe just say thank you and smile.  Take one of the pink flowers on your way out of Sunday services, and maybe take yourself to get a pedicure after brunch to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to yourself, knowing that your intentions already make you part of the club.  

maternity style 20

t shirt - jojo maman bebe (similar), shorts - pea in the pod, wedges - target, sunglasses - ray ban

This is definitely one of the more comfortable outfits I've worn this week - I have a feeling these shorts and the pair I have in blue denim are going to be real heroes through the end of this pregnancy.  Also awesome?  These J.Crew lookalike wedges.  I am a big believer in stocking up on things you love (probably why I have three pairs of Saltwaters, three of this dress, two pairs of these shorts.....basically my entire wardrobe is a collection of duplicate items.)  I bought these in the black & chambray, and I have a feeling I'll wear them to pieces this summer, which is well and good since they were a whopping $17/pair!  

worth it/quality sunglasses

one/two/three/four/five/six

Once upon a time in my early twenties, I resided firmly in the camp of cheap sunglasses.  I strongly believed that if I purchased myself a pair of nice ones, I'd lose them just as quickly as I do the plastic Forever 21 pairs that are scattered throughout my car at any given time.  Truth be told, I probably would have - and did once, on a float trip a few years back.  If you are now the proud owner of a pair of river-rescued folding wayfarers in tortoise, please be nice to them.  

Now I am (the obviously super mature and adult age of) 25, and my main activity on sunny summer weekends doesn't involve nearly the quantity of alcohol it once did, so lo-and-behold!  I am a person capable of owning a nice pair of sunglasses for as long as I please.  Darrell, however, not so much.  He is a prolific loser/breaker of sunglasses.  Although I find that to be true of men in general, have you ever noticed how much more often they lose things than women do?  And how often it's us that happens to find whatever's lost?  So Darrell has one pair of nice sunglasses, and then he borrows from my embarrassingly large collection of Ray-Bans with close supervision.  Sometimes, on occasion, Fitz borrows them as well.  

I thought before it gets well into summer we'd all better get ourselves a new pair for 2014, and these are my picks!  I already tracked down pair #3 on eBay last week, and I love them.  Note though, that not all of these are Karen Walker-crazy expensive.  Pairs four and six are from my favorite affordable eyewear site, Warby Parker.  Darrell really needs a pair with prescription lenses since he doesn't often wear contacts, and since you can get these WITH the prescription for a ridiculously awesome price, I might trust him......might.  

These particular pairs aren't available quite yet, they're part of a sneak peek of the summer line for Light Sleeper, Heavy Dreamer readers.  For now I would definitely check out what they already have in store - you can request up to 5 trial pairs of glasses or sunglasses for free (yes, 100% free, including free shipping) to try on at home - just another reason they're so awesome.  

awkward and awesome

Awkward: 

Fitz’ incredible ability to puke wherever we don’t place the protective towel in the backseat of the car.  We can cover every surface possible, and he will make an effort to screw it up and puke right on my car seats. I pretty much just laugh every time someone warns me about baby spit-up like it’s the most awful thing ever.  

Baby girl keeps measuring large…..like 80th percentile.  I have this lovely birthing plan that involves hypnotherapy & all-natural birthing etc, but no judging me if I scrap all that to get induced early if my OB offers, I have no interest in birthing a 10 lb baby.    "Birth plan" is kind of an oxymoron anyways, right?  

Any potential answers to the questions “are you hating being so pregnant?  Aren’t you uncomfortable yet?”  I mean…..awkward.  I actually feel pretty great - pregnant, but great - and also, I prayed for this baby.  I am grateful to be pregnant.  I try to reserve any complaining solely for my husband.  

I am hot ALL the time.  This is easily remedied by blasting the air conditioning, but poor Darrell may eventually take to sleeping in a parka.  He let me win that fight though, good man that he is.  

Hitting the belly on every single thing possible!  Getting something out of the fridge?  I am probably hitting the baby with the fridge door.  Walking into a door?  If I don’t open it fast enough, the bump hits it before it opens.  Getting into a restaurant booth?  The condiments are lucky if they make it out intact.  My spatial awareness is at a solid zero.  I’m sure next week I’ll be telling you how my belly finally hit a small child in the head.  Yes, I say "my belly" and not "I" because I'm pretty sure this thing has a mind of its own.  

Awesome: 

Our weekend at the lake.  I cannot say how nice it was to have three days on the water.  Even though I worked on Friday, it was incredibly nice to have a change of scenery. The weather cooperated perfectly & we got to get out on the boat - no bikinis, but there were mocktails!  

In the waiting room for my doc appt last week there were two children: a well behaved little girl and a, well, rowdy little boy.  Both were adorable, but the little girl had this absolutely hilarious and judgmental expression of "you filthy hooligan" towards the boy for my entire wait.  

Gap Outlet sales - we got Darrell 6 pieces of clothing I believe for about $60, and a hat for the baby.  One pair of pants was $3!  Shopping for boys is just about the most fun thing ever, am I right?  

Iced tea & lemonade.  This is my favorite right now, in addition to alllll the fruit - all I need is watermelon & peaches to be in season and I may quit eating anything else. Actually who am I kidding, there will obviously still be chocolate & tacos.  

My belly button is still in!  I mean, it’s hanging on for dear life I’m sure, but it looks like we might just make it to the end without an outie.  

I took Fitz for a walk yesterday, and I DID bring a dog bag, but of course he managed to poop twice, the second time directly as the owner of the house in front of his chosen sidewalk space came walking out of the door.  I was about to be fully mortified at having to leave it there, but just then my hero came to save the day in the form of another dog walker with extra bags.  

All my Sonnet James dresses - holy comfortable, stretchy, and flattering.  I pretty much ordered all the ones I wanted when they first went up for pre-order, and now I wish I had just ordered them all.  They are probably some of the best pieces of clothing I have ever had - I’ll be looking forward to every collection from now on.