everything's coming up daffodils

Life had really thrown us some curveballs lately in the form of some financial roadblocks (of our own making maybe, but still) health crises, and just a serious lack of time + sleep deprivation.  Being a parent is hard, didn't they tell you?  But there's so much joy in the hard (SO MUCH JOY!)  I'm a firm believer in life coming in waves - they crash down showing you how good the good times are, and how bad the bad times are.  Eventually it all adds up to a lot of beauty, but you have to come to the surface to see it sometimes, you know?  

Friends, I think we have broken through to the surface - come out on top into that warm spring sunshine place, where the days are longer and the flowers start blooming.  See, all the "ick" we wade through has shown me how to really pay attention to the good stuff.  The potential of something happening to my baby rattled me to my core, but it taught me to put my damn iPhone down when I'm feeding her and pay attention.  To how she twiddles her fingers in her shirt hem, and what she looks around at distractedly.  To take joy in those 4 am feedings when she's heavy in my arms after filling up her little tank, and feel that deep satisfying weight of a baby just on the precipice of no longer being a baby, but a toddler.  

I'm scooting closer to my husband on the couch during our weekend Netflix marathons, and holding his hand while we go on after dinner walks once the baby falls asleep in her sling, talking about the houses we'll never buy and the newly blooming daffodils we've been desperate to spot for months. 

On a much less serious note, I'm finding some joy in getting dressed and ready again - I was so sick of my winter clothes, a half jumbled closet mess of things that fit me when I was losing the baby weight and things that sort of fit now, but not in the way you need them to fit while breastfeeding if you know what I mean...

There's a little more color in my skin, my hair finally getting long again, a loose tank top and light cardigan sweater with the most perfectly perfect jeans I've ever found.  Some delicate jewelry with Claire's name in cursive now that she's finally old enough to understand the word no, regardless of how many times I've got to repeat it - usually upwards of 20.  Some coral lipstick and braided hair, moving forward into the season where we all feel the most alive. 

I'm looking forward to outdoor yoga again, feeling the sun hit my face when I raise my arms up in salutation, and remembering what it feels like to really be in my body (and work on improving it, because swimsuit season and weekends at the lake aren't far off - although one-pieces are the suit of the season!  huzzah!)  Soon we will eat dinner on the patio, I'll start picking up bottles of rose wine and bundles of peonies & ranunculus at Trader Joe's.  I'm going to start reading again, don't laugh, I really am!!! Something that isn't a parenting book maybe?  I've heard good things about this one?  

So okay dreamers, have a good week.  Take stock of all the good in your life.  Do some spring cleaning.  Hold your babies for their naps.  Buy some flowers - that's an order! 

And in case you need a little Friday distraction, here are a few of my favorite links lately:

Why "bro country" is offensive and "Girl in a Country Song" is genius.   I have to admit, country is almost worse than rap lately as far as misogyny goes.

How to make vegetarian dishes *pop* with umami flavor. 

Completely obsessed with this shop's bonnets for summertime. 

I've heard amazing things about this book and am hoping to start it this weekend. 

This is a genius product - need it! 

So obsessed with these sandals from Madewell (although admittedly waiting for them to go on sale, because yikes!) 

february magic

Oh St. Louis, you're such a tease.  For some reason, each February when we're all getting quite tired of winter - March is in sight! - and we're really itching for some outdoor fun, St. Louis gifts us a  sunny and 65 day.  We got two this year actually - they landed on Saturday and Sunday and made for an all-around magical weekend.  Unfortunately, there's nothing promising in general about this weather.  The high on Thursday is 20 degrees and one year this happened we got two feet of snow in March so......no high hopes.  But being reminded of what it feels like to be warm outside, sun shining on your head and your baby's head and playing baseball in the park.....it feels so good.  So here are a few pics (both outdoor and not) of our magical February weekend.

Okay, let's start with a good one: 

I can't even remember what she was so excited about in this photo but apparently it had something to do with wanting to remove her Wilco onesie.



Darrell's level of excitement at her newfound ability to sit on his shoulders is kind of ridiculously adorable.




She is easily his biggest fan.  She basically tries to climb onto the guitar every time he starts playing.  It's heart-breakingly cute.





Play has become much more of a *thing* now than ever before.  Playing, it is serious business.  We usually have no less than a dozen blocks, 2 stuffed animals, a light up counting toy and an exersaucer strewn about our living room, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  (But please, PLEASE for the love of God Fisher Price; improve your electronic singing toys a bit?)  I cannot listen to "the cow and the triangle" one more time.  Did you want to hear the lyrics?  Don't worry, I have them memorized.

"The cow and the triangle, want to sing for you.  Moo moo moo moo, the cow and the triangle!!!!!" (Sing that last "triangle" with much fanfare.  Those exclamation points were not superfluous.)





Still having excellent success with solid food IF AND ONLY if it comes in a pouch.  Apparently food in pouches tastes better?  Who knows, but they are, if anything the least messy way to feed a baby (outside of breastfeeding, which is magically tidy.)





We're still only napping in the wrap or sling and I'm starting to wonder if this is something I should try to fix......do 4 year olds take naps?  Will I be toting a napping 4 year old around on my back?

Let me know if you think this is an actual concern....



Saturday, we decided to do a Mardi Gras 5k (Mardi Gras is a BIG St. Louis thing.)  It wasn't very serious, there was day drinking of mimosas involved, so I decided to walk it with Claire.  Big mistake.  HUGE.  It hurt to walk the entire rest of the day - 18 lbs of baby on your back for 3 miles is a much bigger strain than I thought it would be!

Speaking of mimosas:



It was Lisa's birthday, so we decided to celebrate with a 3 hour brunch.



Let's end with this incredibly natural picture of all of us laughing on the patio of the restaurant!

So tell me, did any of you get a freak spring weekend?  Anyone else successfully drink champagne in the morning both Saturday and Sunday?  Tell me something fun so that I can forget it's Monday!  

if you're ever feeling.....

If you're ever feeling like maybe your May flowers aren't living up to their rhymed hype...

then you can just come on over to hang out in our backyard for a while.  

Also, ever since living here Darrell & I have a funny habit of getting really antsy to move/hunt for apartments or houses in the winter, and each year when spring rolls around we change our tune to "we're never leaving.  How did we get so lucky as to live here?"  And I really don't know, because I sure don't have a single thing to do with those beautiful roses other than a little pruning from my habit of clipping some and placing a vase full in every room of the house.  

the weekender

Sometimes I feel as though each Friday kicks off an inevitable contest to have the "best weekend ever" after the workweek, and this weekend I think we won!  Of course that's easier at the lake, but I feel like the makings of a perfect day are pretty much universal.  

 Consider this post the official Light Sleeper, Heavy Dreamer guide to the perfect (lazy!) spring weekend.  

Step one: wake up in the morning of your own accord - no alarm clocks! Eat asiago cheese bagels &  fruit for breakfast with a big mug of Dunkin' Donuts coffee while watching the weekend news and reading blogs.  Shower & get ready for a day out on the boat at a snail's pace.  This may or may not include a quick trip to Target to buy a new hat (but it probably should.)  Pack your hat and your favorite sunglasses and a tote bag, and head down to the dock once you feel like eating lunch.  

sunglasses: ray ban (on sale!), hat: target, bag: old navy, and I had the embroidery done

Step two: make your handsome husband pose for some cutesy photos on the dock while the boat lift lowers into the water.  Make good use of your new hat in said photos.  

Step three: order a mocktail with your lunch, because Pina Coladas are yummy, rum or no rum.  

Step four: sit in the sun watching the boats and chatting about nothing much at all until you realize that it's time for more food! Head home to watch a movie, and eat dinner & some ice cream, of course.  Go to bed at 10, exhausted & happy from being in the sun for so many hours.  

Step five: rinse and repeat the next day (this time for brunch, because of course it's Sunday) potentially in a cuter outfit.  

hat - target, dress - loft

Other exciting (okay, to me) things that happened this weekend: 

I finally ordered a few samples of Le Labo perfumes I've been dying to try, because I'm almost out of Coco Mademoiselle.  Darrell just has a naturally stuck-up nose - he won't even notice it, let alone compliment it, unless it's....well, let's just say not cheap.  On the upside, more reason to buy fancy perfume!  I'll keep you updated on whether or not I decide their scents are worth the splurge.  The packaging alone....I mean the bottles are basically decoration.  

My Sonnet James dresses finally came!  I'm not going to lie, I was skeptical of whether or not they'd fit.  I ordered them all back in February when I was um, much smaller, but the dresses were supposed to work for pregnancy and after.  Well, they were all perfect!  When does that ever happen?  They're stretchy of course, and the fabric is pretty fantastic.  They're super fitted now, which is actually more flattering during pregnancy, and I think they'll be perfectly relaxed and casual later.  The packaging was adorable, each dress came in a bag with suckers and a little kids toy.  Also, I got a promo code I thought I'd share with my order: they have a few extra dresses in stock that you can check out here, and get $10 off with sjfriend10!  

I managed to snag my first pair of Karen Walker sunglasses on eBay last week after stalking them for quite a while, and they showed up too.  These are the "Helter Skelter" style.  I suppose time will tell whether or not I'm cool enough for Karen Walker sunglasses (debatable.)  Sometimes I think I'd rather buy something online just because of how fun it is to get packages, which is probably incredibly silly, but tell me you don't sort of feel the same!  

out.of.doors

Finally, it's that magic time of year. I spend all my waking hours thinking, dreaming, planning, of being outside and I make it happen as often as possible. Walking the puppy outside, yoga outside, running outside, riding my bike to the store, strolling through the farmer's market, picnicking, drinking coffee on the front steps, those things are the centerpieces of all the plans I'd like to make for the coming months. Just dear God, please don't let it rain... : )

all.things.girly

"maybe it's because I'm willing to believe stories & make wishes on falling stars but so far I've learned there is no reality but the one you create"

I don't have much to muse about today other than how amazing this week has been, and how perfect it could only continue to be. The only things I could complain about would be the weather (hello, spring? it's april now, and we'd love to see you come back) but even regardless of the temperature the sun's been shining in a way that suggests genuine warmth. I love this time of year because you start to think that so much more is really possible. There's always so much less to worry about, like the sun's rays soften the edges of all your problems.

Little changes I've made have made it easier to feel as though summer's really coming. I've hidden away all my fur coats and filled their space with all my eyelet & floral dresses. I started buying tulips for the kitchen table again. I can't get enough turquoise & coral into my life after a winter of army green, grey, and black, and I've been painting my nails alternating rainbow colors. I've discovered the magic of putting feathers into your hair, and I love to run my fingers through as someone walks by and inevitably asks, aghast "is that a FEATHER?" I bought some anklet bracelets the other day and I know they're impossibly 90s, but I kind of like that nostalgia of wearing something I wore as a kid, and hearing the little bit of noise they make when you walk.

quote via boheme musings

"Maybe if they all could be combined - art, rock and fashion. Those were always my favorite things."-Stephen Sprouse

No winter lasts forever. No spring skips its turn.

I have to say, I really hate this time of year. That yucky end of winter, yearning for spring. There's just so much that I'm really starting to hate about this season - like this 2 inch layer of ice and snow that has completely blanketed the midwest. I hate that. Combined with the fact that the groundhog didn't see his shadow (EARLY SPRING!!!) and there are gobs of pretty spring clothes popping up over the blogosphere, I'm officially dreaming about sitting on my front porch with a beer and opening all the windows so I can hear my record player outside. Don't worry - I've blocked my mind from even *thinking* about festivals yet. It would be too painful. Of course, the Bonnaroo lineup usually comes out mid month...so we'll see how long that lasts. In the meantime, I leave you with some sorta spring-y images.

"Maybe if they all could be combined - art, rock and fashion. Those were always my favorite things."-Stephen Sprouse